There oughtta be a law...#4529

If I were ever president/dictator/supreme overlord of the universe, I would make "showing off" one's "baby bump" a crime punishable by a swift kick to the belly with a steel-toed boot.

"Does it get lonely up there on your pedestal?"

A friend of mine posted the following link on Facebook today...

5 New Products That Prove Humanity is Doomed (Part 2)

...and of course everyone thought it was a laugh riot.  Oh, those pathetic losers and their sex dolls/hugging pillows/whatever.  Well guess what?  I didn't think it was so funny.  But rather than being a jerk and posting a rant in response, I decided to use this blog for its intended purpose and vent on here.

I don't have a sex doll, but I can absolutely empathize with those who might choose to get one.  Here's why:

Perhaps the folks who buy these dolls have STDs and they care enough about their loved ones not to share them, or they're responsible enough not to share them with random strangers they would otherwise be picking up at bars to satisfy their sexual urges.  What would be funnier - them having sex with a doll, or you getting AIDS?  I'm inclined to say the latter if you say the former.

OR, on a similar tack, perhaps they are a truly sensitive individual who has strong sexual urges but doesn't want to risk hurting the feelings of someone via a one-night stand (or worse yet - RAPE), and can't stand the thought of having sex with a prostitute (or realizes that $5000 for a real doll - with which you can have sex any number of times - is much more sensible than the $1000-$3000 they charge for a single night at the legal brothels out in Nevada).  Again, what would be funnier - them having sex with a doll, or raping your sister/daughter, or having your best friend commit suicide because the man she thought was the love of her life was just using her for sex?
Finally - and perhaps most importantly - the statement, "For the same amount of money you spend on a realistic love doll, you could go out dozens upon dozens of times and actually meet real people, form relationships, have adventures, fall in love, converse, learn and grow as a human being, with other human beings" assumes that people would want to meet/talk with (much less fall in love with) someone who would be willing to have sex with a doll, which they wouldn't because they're too high up on their horses to see that not everyone is interested in or CAPABLE OF social discourse with meat sacks with whom they have absolutely nothing in common or who want nothing to do with you if you don't care about the "cute" shit that their kid did today.  Maybe they've even tried and failed miserably.  Maybe they've had their hearts ripped out and stomped on by insensitive women and never want to risk getting hurt again.  Maybe they're grossly deformed or have fetishes they're too embarrassed to share with anyone.  It's obvious that whoever wrote this article would rather point and laugh at such an individual than try and understand them via the conversation they espouse.

I don't think realistic sex dolls are a sign of the downfall of man, I think they're a sign of our evolution, a sign that we're better understanding our sexuality and putting more thought into our sexual endeavors.  I think a much bleaker assessment of humans can be made regarding our intolerance toward those who have different sexual inclinations, be they homosexuals, bisexuals, or those who'd choose to have sex with a doll.  And I've said it before, I'll say it again - if they ever develop an android catgirl, I'll be the first to put my name on the pre-order list.

Hate Everything, Kill Everyone

I like how 80+% of the women I see on dating sites nowadays are overweight.  Oh wait, no I don't.  Really, I mean, I know I'm no Adonis, but for God's sake - stop admiring pictures of your friends' kids, put down the chocolate and glass of Merlot, get up off the couch, and go for a f#$%ing walk.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go murder my neighbors (the ones across the hall are having yet another party, and the ones below me have gone in and out of their patio at least 10 times in the past hour, which shakes my floor and creates a sound akin to thunder when they open and close their sliding door).

Do YOU know what it's like?

I've decided to use this blog to share some old demo tapes and the like to provide a new opportunity for some of these classic obscure gems to be unearthed and appreciated by a new generation...or whatevers.

First up on the list is Enrage's "Ugly" tape.  This was so far ahead of its time - super tight, insanely heavy groove/slam with unusual levels of emotion for the style rather than the typical tough guy approach.  Think Life of Agony meets Disembodied or something with a unique Noo Yawk flair.  As the Very Distro catalog described it, "produces the kind of mosh pits that people get hurt in" or something.  Just check it out!

Enrage - "Ugly" Cassette
Year - 1993

Side A
Ugly
Slave Labor
My Hands

Side B
Drawn to You
Sins of Release
Epiphany

Credits: 
Vocals - Jeff Altieri
Guitars - Mike Pellegrino
Bass - Joe Mariconda
Drums - Marco Altieri

Recorded at The Boiler Room
Engineer - T.J. Quatrone
Mix - Alex Armitage

Originally released on Key-Hole Records.